how to purpose to javier part 2

Ok, let me get one thing clear, about my recent post. And just to let you know. When or if I want to purpose to him then I will. that is my choice. And if I want to post about this on my blog I can, and I will. I don't need anyone or family to chew my head off, I am making progress, and its still going to take time.  One good news I finally got today, something I been waiting for. And that's a good start.

Now about this purposal, As much as I want to purpose to Javier, That is my choice, and I would love to do it. I don't know how he would react, but It would be nice to know and how it feels to do something like this, I did buy a simple ring, I always make sure I have at least $20 to $40 for  myself, And this time  I wanted to get something special for Javier...

I do know he will love it,  that's all. I love him, but I will not force him into something that he isn't ready for. I used to do that in the past, but this is now, "I don't need anyone's approval about this, This is my choice...

Idk, why my family over reacts, I am not doing anything wrong. I can't always confide in my family. I know they are over protected of me, and want me to make the right choice. and not the wrong choices. I am doing better, And I don't know how or why but mistakes does happen. I don't go looking for trouble, it some how wants to take advantage of me, question is I don't know how or why. but it happens.

All I ever want is to be loved, and be honest. I try to be honest. But I do sometimes hold some of the truth. And here is one thing I do keep my  personal life secret. "I do however like to talk about my day. and what I did on this day. Like today, all I did was hanged out by the pool, and take a selfie, and I am always on fb like 24/7.  I love fb. and the games. Ok, now this post is more than about how to purpose to Javier, its also about other things on my mind.  I been told that I start one conversation but then I start another one. Now this is a habit, for me. I been doing it for a long time now.

Ok, now this makes sense to me, I don't expect anyone to get frustrated or confuse about anything.  But for now this is just a post, and my blog. that's it..