how to purpose to javier part 2

Ok, let me get one thing clear, about my recent post. And just to let you know. When or if I want to purpose to him then I will. that is my choice. And if I want to post about this on my blog I can, and I will. I don't need anyone or family to chew my head off, I am making progress, and its still going to take time.  One good news I finally got today, something I been waiting for. And that's a good start.

Now about this purposal, As much as I want to purpose to Javier, That is my choice, and I would love to do it. I don't know how he would react, but It would be nice to know and how it feels to do something like this, I did buy a simple ring, I always make sure I have at least $20 to $40 for  myself, And this time  I wanted to get something special for Javier...

I do know he will love it,  that's all. I love him, but I will not force him into something that he isn't ready for. I used to do that in the past, but this is now, "I don't need anyone's approval about this, This is my choice...

Idk, why my family over reacts, I am not doing anything wrong. I can't always confide in my family. I know they are over protected of me, and want me to make the right choice. and not the wrong choices. I am doing better, And I don't know how or why but mistakes does happen. I don't go looking for trouble, it some how wants to take advantage of me, question is I don't know how or why. but it happens.

All I ever want is to be loved, and be honest. I try to be honest. But I do sometimes hold some of the truth. And here is one thing I do keep my  personal life secret. "I do however like to talk about my day. and what I did on this day. Like today, all I did was hanged out by the pool, and take a selfie, and I am always on fb like 24/7.  I love fb. and the games. Ok, now this post is more than about how to purpose to Javier, its also about other things on my mind.  I been told that I start one conversation but then I start another one. Now this is a habit, for me. I been doing it for a long time now.

Ok, now this makes sense to me, I don't expect anyone to get frustrated or confuse about anything.  But for now this is just a post, and my blog. that's it..

My boyfriend Javier.

Ok, I been with Javier now almost 5 yrs now. next month the 15th is our anniversary. And I want to do something big and surprise for him. I am actually ready to take that step. I have also been waiting for him to purpose to me, But I was actually thinking about that. I would like to purpose to him. We love each other and we are still crazy for one another. I even bought a ring, I found a great one at Amazon. And its amazing, plus it has two of his favorite colors too. Red & Black. Omg, He is going to be very surprise.

I been thinking and how I am going to do this, I do want to do it on our anniversary. "I had asked him how would he feel about if I were to purpose to him, he asked if I was but I said no, at the time. But he doesn't know that I am actually going too. Anyways. He even says to me that he would want a big diamond ring. and I smiled at him.
Since then I have thought about it some more, and one day just 2 weeks ago I go online to Amazon and I found a few engagement rings, but then I came across this ring. And I said this is the one, And now I will have it within this week. And I can't wait. Now for the purposing to Javier, I like to ask him, and get down on my knees and ask him, or should I make him a romantic dinner, and have a special night. And take his hand and I will tell him how much I love him, and all of a sudden I take out a ring box and I would show him, and see how he would react, and hope he will says yes.

I also plan to video tape this purposal. too. And maybe show the world, like facebook about the engagement, and youtube, and instgram. Some people like to keep it personal and private. And that is true, but some like to share their excitement.

This is an excitement for me, and I would love to share my story of engagement...